DOUBLE ALBUM TRACK LIST
Album 1 (English: There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved）
1. Out of clock
2. Only Man
3. Love Yourself First
4. Another Me
5. Distance
6. Beg For More
7. I refused to Break Down
8. Alchemist 9. I’m Enough
10. Dream On
11. Stay Away
12. Another Me (Acapella)
Album Concept
In the creation of my double album, 'There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved (心葬),' I ventured into the depths of my soul, where music thrived while other passions withered. This journey, spanning five years of solitary writing, recording, and producing, gave birth to a series of heart-rending ballads. These songs are woven with the essence of lost loves, their spectral presences finding solace in the album's melodies. This work is not just a collection of songs; it's a healing ritual, a poignant invitation to find joy in the aftermath of sorrow, an endeavour to craft something that resonates beyond the constraints of time.
Story and Sound
This double album mirrors my cultural duality, split evenly between English and Chinese, reflecting my Chinese-British heritage. It's a musical memoir, chronicling the loves and lives that have shaped me. The album delves into the paradox of strength in vulnerability, exploring how our deepest wounds often teach the most profound lessons. Out of over a hundred demos, I handpicked each track for its emotional resonance, ensuring that every piece touched me deeply from inception to completion. The production leans into a distinctly feminine, vocal-centric aesthetic, a reflection of my expertise as a female producer. A transformative ayahuasca retreat in 2019, guided by a Peruvian Shaman, inspired me to harness the raw, unfiltered power of the voice – the most intimate and potent instrument of the soul.
Album Artwork: Life-Size Painting
The concept of commissioning my esteemed friend and supporter, Shane Rodrigues, to create a life-size hyper-realism acrylic painting stems from my desire to honour the years dedicated to crafting this double album as a 'sonic painting'.
Dylan Chubb, whom I had the fortune of meeting during the 2019 Ayahuasca retreat, serves as the art director and photographer for this album. Additionally, my graphic designer, Eric from Kahinienn Graphix, transitioned from being an admirer of my work to a pivotal collaborator, working closely with me on a daily basis.
A Deeper Journey: Pain, Acceptance and Transcendence
The album is a portrait of human condition archetypes, presented as a collection of unrequited love stories from the perspective of a woman who tragically and willingly enters romantic affairs doomed from the start. In a way, she has crafted her own narratives and repeatedly played the same role ritualistically, yet remains unaware of the reasons.
She cycles through a pattern of attachment and detachment, with each encounter and departure symbolising love as an elusive flame, ultimately extinguished like a dream from the day before. In her songs, she narrates these tales while seeking answers and, ultimately, transcendence. She embraces the pain of each chosen experience, but must heal her wounds in solitude, thus invariably leaving each situation and returning to her inherent state of otherworldliness.
This explains why she conducts a funeral ritual for every man she once truly loved, only to inevitably forget and erase him from her heart. Despite her vulnerable, feminine, and melancholic exterior, she possesses an indomitable strength, allowing her to engage with love earnestly each time, and prepare herself for the next emotional adventure or life's upheaval.
People of all genders may find a piece of themselves in her at different times, as she embodies the collective consciousness: fear, pain, insecurity, lust, loss, disappointment, suffering, loneliness, and the longing to be loved. The sequence of pain she endures symbolises the unenlightened egoic state of human conditions — that of conditional love.
Emotionally, I became her while writing these songs
This album is dedicated to all who have endured heartbreak, pain, and suffering. Let us collectively hold funerals for our pains and embark on a journey of healing together.
I take immense pride in this album, so much so that if I were to pass away tomorrow, I would do so content. However, as long as I am alive, it is both my duty and honor to share this work with you and the world.
For most of my life, becoming the music artist I am today seemed an unattainable dream. This is why I urge you to liberate yourself and live your truth, regardless of your circumstances or age.
Includes unlimited streaming of There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
...more
Join
now to receive all the new
music
Fifi Rong creates,
including
30 back-catalog releases,
delivered instantly to you via the Bandcamp app for iOS and Android.
You’ll also get access to
supporter-only
exclusives.
Learn more.
"Distance" is a contemplative song that delves into the intricacies of emotional distance and the complexities of human relationships. The lyrics poetically convey the journey of realising that some paths must be walked alone, and some words remain unspoken. It's a song about the inevitability of change and the silent acceptance of things that cannot stay.
The song captures the bittersweet nature of fleeting connections, where moments of closeness are interspersed with periods of distance. The metaphor of walking beside someone as if towards eternity, only to realise it's a momentary dream, highlights the transient nature of human bonds.
It speaks to the heartache of wanting to be close to someone who remains emotionally distant, and the longing for a simple gesture of love to bridge the chasm of silence. The track is a poignant reminder of the love that once was, and the silent understanding that some distances, once created, can never be fully bridged.
lyrics
Distance
Jealousy, I’m bored of you
Wanna talk but I’ve no words
You’re so cold, I’m scared of you
You’re so good, I hate on you
Wanna make it last, in my sky
You don’t believe so watch me grow
Kind of detached, too lazy to feel
How much love can fight with something new
When I hear you say, those ordinary words
I listened intently, as if I’ve never heard
When I saw you stare, at the sky that might fall
I wanna kiss your neck, and forgive all your fault
Jealousy, I’m bored of you
Wanna talk but I’ve no thought
I really cared but I let it go
How much love can fight with something new
When I hear you say, those ordinary words
I listened intently, as if I’ve never heard
When I saw you stare, at the sky that might fall
I wanna kiss your neck, and forgive all your fault
Am I moving too fast, in isolation?
I told you my past, did you ever listen
I showed you my scars, but you kept your distance
I know that I’ve loved, in your absence
In your absence
When I hear you say, those ordinary words
I listened intently, as if I’ve never heard
When I saw you stare, at the sky that might fall
I wanna kiss your neck, and forgive all your fault
I watch the way you walk, wish we don’t have to stop
Matching you every step, knowing we don’t have to talk
I watch the way you walk, wish we don’t have to stop
Matching you every step, knowing we don’t have to
Chinese-British vocalist, songwriter, and producer FiFi Rong blends emotional vulnerability and her cultural heritage into
her Avant-Pop vision. Known for collaborations with Skepta, Tricky, and more, she's recognised for her paradigm-pushing sound and spellbinding live shows. Currently working on her 7 EP Series "Qi:7," FiFi explores past traumas and cultural ties, fostering a hopeful narrative....more
Like Emika says in her description of the album, listening to traditional songs/albums can be overwhelming these days. I agree, which is why I've been listening to so much ambient music lately. Unlike a lot of the other artists in that genre though, Emika's work here is more experimental, hard-edged, and unpredictable. It's refreshing and thrilling. Can't wait for more. Jim Penola
First, I really like Emika's electronic albums.
Klavirni: each track - like the main theme you really love in an entire opera score.
Klavirni Temna is more of the same, yet the advancement in Emika's playing and composition can be heard, in such a short time. I have no classical training whatsoever, but the progress seems plain to me.
I really like Melanfonie as well! How does she continue with such quality of output, such versatility, and be so prolific? I'm jealous!
My 7th Emika album. harddisco
On her gorgeous new LP, Minnesota artist Rachel Lime floats her evocative voice through rich & dizzying art-pop arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 12, 2021
A gorgeous record of blissed out shoegaze streaked with stardust and a glam rock edge from this San Diego-based artist. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 19, 2023
