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    DOUBLE ALBUM TRACK LIST 
    Album 1  (English: There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved) 
    1. Out of clock 
    2. Only Man 
    3. Love Yourself First 
    4. Another Me 
    5. Distance 
    6. Beg For More 
    7. I refused to Break Down 
    8. Alchemist 
    9. I’m Enough 
    10. Dream On 
    11. Stay Away 
    12. Another Me (Acapella) 
     
    Album 2  (Chinese: 心葬) 
    1. 来不及 (Out of clock) 
    2. 流尘 (Only Man) 
    3. 自爱(Love Yourself First) 
    4. 另一个我 (Another Me) 
    5. 距离 (Distance) 
    6. 金石为开 (Alchemist) 
    7. 足够 (I’m Enough) 
    8. 梦之爱恋 (Dream On) 
    9. 离开你 (Stay Away) 
    10. 零度空间 (QFT) 
    11.  唯美 (Art For Art's Sake) 
    12. 另一个我  Another Me (无伴奏) 

    Album Concept
    In the creation of my double album, 'There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved (心葬),' I ventured into the depths of my soul, where music thrived while other passions withered. This journey, spanning five years of solitary writing, recording, and producing, gave birth to a series of heart-rending ballads. These songs are woven with the essence of lost loves, their spectral presences finding solace in the album's melodies. This work is not just a collection of songs; it's a healing ritual, a poignant invitation to find joy in the aftermath of sorrow, an endeavour to craft something that resonates beyond the constraints of time.
     
    Story and Sound 
    This double album mirrors my cultural duality, split evenly between English and Chinese, reflecting my Chinese-British heritage. It's a musical memoir, chronicling the loves and lives that have shaped me. The album delves into the paradox of strength in vulnerability, exploring how our deepest wounds often teach the most profound lessons. Out of over a hundred demos, I handpicked each track for its emotional resonance, ensuring that every piece touched me deeply from inception to completion. The production leans into a distinctly feminine, vocal-centric aesthetic, a reflection of my expertise as a female producer. A transformative ayahuasca retreat in 2019, guided by a Peruvian Shaman, inspired me to harness the raw, unfiltered power of the voice – the most intimate and potent instrument of the soul.
     
    Album Artwork: Life-Size Painting 
     
    The concept of commissioning my esteemed friend and supporter, Shane Rodrigues, to create a life-size hyper-realism acrylic painting stems from my desire to honour the years dedicated to crafting this double album as a 'sonic painting'.
    Dylan Chubb, whom I had the fortune of meeting during the 2019 Ayahuasca retreat, serves as the art director and photographer for this album. Additionally, my graphic designer, Eric from Kahinienn Graphix, transitioned from being an admirer of my work to a pivotal collaborator, working closely with me on a daily basis.
     
    A Deeper Journey: Pain, Acceptance and Transcendence 
    The album is a portrait of human condition archetypes, presented as a collection of unrequited love stories from the perspective of a woman who tragically and willingly enters romantic affairs doomed from the start. In a way, she has crafted her own narratives and repeatedly played the same role ritualistically, yet remains unaware of the reasons.
    She cycles through a pattern of attachment and detachment, with each encounter and departure symbolising love as an elusive flame, ultimately extinguished like a dream from the day before. In her songs, she narrates these tales while seeking answers and, ultimately, transcendence. She embraces the pain of each chosen experience, but must heal her wounds in solitude, thus invariably leaving each situation and returning to her inherent state of otherworldliness.
    This explains why she conducts a funeral ritual for every man she once truly loved, only to inevitably forget and erase him from her heart. Despite her vulnerable, feminine, and melancholic exterior, she possesses an indomitable strength, allowing her to engage with love earnestly each time, and prepare herself for the next emotional adventure or life's upheaval.
    People of all genders may find a piece of themselves in her at different times, as she embodies the collective consciousness: fear, pain, insecurity, lust, loss, disappointment, suffering, loneliness, and the longing to be loved. The sequence of pain she endures symbolises the unenlightened egoic state of human conditions — that of conditional love.
    Emotionally, I became her while writing these songs
     
    This album is dedicated to all who have endured heartbreak, pain, and suffering. Let us collectively hold funerals for our pains and embark on a journey of healing together.
    I take immense pride in this album, so much so that if I were to pass away tomorrow, I would do so content. However, as long as I am alive, it is both my duty and honor to share this work with you and the world.
    For most of my life, becoming the music artist I am today seemed an unattainable dream. This is why I urge you to liberate yourself and live your truth, regardless of your circumstances or age.

    Includes unlimited streaming of There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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about

"Dream On" explores the depths of love and obsession in a dreamlike state. The lyrics artfully blend the ephemeral nature of life with the intensity of a love that transcends reality. It's a song about an all-consuming love, where the boundaries between dream and reality blur, and emotions run deep and wild.

The song conveys the feeling of being utterly captivated by another's essence - their voice, gaze, touch, and soul. It speaks of a yearning so strong that it becomes the only wish, persisting through years and sleepless nights, entrenched in the heart.

Musically, "Dream On" is a fusion of melancholic melodies and ethereal tones, creating a soundscape that mirrors the song's lyrical themes. It's a journey through love's most passionate and painful moments, where the lover is willing to endure anything, even suffering and destruction, for the sake of this profound connection.

The chorus, with its repeated declarations of love and the paradoxical willingness to stay, leave, suffer, and kill, highlights the complexity and duality of deep emotional attachment. "Dream On" is a testament to the power of love to consume and transform, creating a world where the lines between devotion and obsession are indistinct.

lyrics

Dream On

梦之哀恋
梦之哀恋

I still dream on knowing that we have long passed the end
To a point of no return
You come to me in a world I created where you’re my man
I walked away, with your words still floating on my lips
Like we did on your staircase
We laugh we talk for the weekend together in a naked room

I’m falling apart, rising above
You were being you so my love began

Your chest your eyes and your arms your soul
Your skin your lips your scent your ghost
I'll stay I'll leave I'll suffer I'll kill
All I know is I'm in love with you

Your chest your eyes your arms your soul
Your skin your lips how can I let go
I'll stay I'll leave I'll suffer I'll kill
All I know is I'm in love with you

梦之哀恋
梦之哀恋

Tell me the stories of all of your tattoos in the gloom
From your hands to your neck
Send me away thinking of that unknown strange perfume
The pain from desire blue fire streaming down in tears
Into the flame I burn
I twisted my body into destruction to get through
To you

You concurred my heart with a passion for art
My survival depends on your kissing descends

Your chest your eyes and your arms your soul
You skin your lips your scent your ghost
I'll stay I'll leave I'll suffer I'll kill
All I know is I'm in love with you


Your chest your eyes your arms your soul
Your skin your lips how can I let go
I'll stay I'll leave I'll suffer I'll kill
All I know is I'm in love with you

梦之哀恋
梦之哀恋

credits

from There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved, released February 14, 2022
Written, Vocals & Production by Fifi Rong
Mix and Mastering by Oskar Vizan

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about

Fifi Rong London, UK

Chinese-British vocalist, songwriter, and producer FiFi Rong blends emotional vulnerability and her cultural heritage into her Avant-Pop vision. Known for collaborations with Skepta, Tricky, and more, she's recognised for her paradigm-pushing sound and spellbinding live shows. Currently working on her 7 EP Series "Qi:7," FiFi explores past traumas and cultural ties, fostering a hopeful narrative. ... more

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